Posts Tagged ‘Deborah B. Hawkey’

Lesson 2

Most of my life I have acted as if I were a robot, responding to what other people said or did. Now I recognize that my responses can be determined only by the decisions I make. I claim my freedom by exercising the power of my decisions to see people and  events  with love instead of fear.

Whenever you feel tempted today to see through the eyes of fear, repeat to yourself with determination: I am not a robot. I am free. I am determined today to see things differently.

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My next project is a Seed Circle with the intention of creating a powerful women’s circle where woman come together once a week to find encouragement and sisterhood.

For more information: Contact Deborah Hawkey


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By Guest Writer & Coach:  Renee Lindstrom
Greater Victoria, Nov 18 '16

Greater Victoria, Nov 18 ’16

Local Author and Creative Writer Mentor, Junie Swadron, introduces Deborah and then shares in unique dialog exchange with her to the delight of the audience!

We learned three things about Deborah last night that endeared her  to those of us that where lucky enough to hear some of her story.

  1.  Hawkey is the first person in Canada, diagnosed with acute blast-cell leukemia, to reach the five-year milestone after experimental bone marrow transplantation.
  2. In order to cope with the horrific experiences of her life-time she developed a strategy of pulling her hair called Trichotillomania, that lasted for 38 years.  She cured herself of this condition!!!!!!
  3. That she has become a life-coach and is developing a program to share with others!!!!!

Of course there is so much more to her story that qualifies it as horrific, however her focus has shifted to finding the beauty in life.  This includes how she was able to find acceptance, forgive and find meaningful relationships with her own father before he passed away.

It has been a joy supporting Deborah in launching Glorious Me, My Journey on the Path to Self Love, and to share in this important event!

To find out more or buy her book visit:


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I have submitted a copy of Glorious me, My Journey to the Path of Self Love, to Bolen Books in Hillside Mall!  Waiting to hear results!  Fingers crossed they will offer it in the Greater Victoria area.

bolen Books, Hillside Mall


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Ivy's Bookshop, Oak Bay Ave

I am grateful to Ivy’s Bookshop for carrying Glorious Me, My Journey on the Path to Self Love!

They are located at 2188 Oak Bay Avenue in the heart of Oak Bay Village!

Visit their website @ http://ivysbookshop.com


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Sooke Author Deborah Hawkey with her book, Glorious Me: My Journey on the Path to Self-Love. – Article Credit: Octavian Lacatusu/Sooke News Mirror

Re-printed courtesy of Sooke News Mirror – September, 2016

Sooke resident Deborah Hawkey has gone  through a lot of tough stuff in her life. Instead of letting it drag her down though, she decided to do something about it. She wrote a book.    Hawkey is also the first person in Canada, diagnosed with acute blast-cell leukemia, to reach the five-year milestone after experimental bone marrow transplantation.
In Glorious Me, My Journey on the Path to Self-Love, she takes the reader on a journey of triumph over childhood emotional abuse, life with a rage-alcoholic father, PTSD, and possibly her biggest challenge ever: being abandoned by her mother at the age of six while battling for her life against terminal cancer.

Hawkey is also the first person in Canada, diagnosed with acute blast-cell leukemia, to reach the five-year milestone after experimental bone marrow transplantation,

In the end, her intent was to not only tell a story, but to create a book about the power of the human spirit and its inherent resilience against all odds.
“It is more than a story about childhood illness and emotional trauma, it holds the key to what is possible when you trust, love and forgive,” she said.
Growing up in a dysfunctional family, writing was a way for her to deal with her frustration and anger. She eventually realized that what she was writing was the same thing, over and over.

“I was so angry when I was growing up that I’ve written this book many times and I kept on shredding it, because that’s how I was working on my anger,” Hawkey said.
Everything changed when she joined a writing group in Victoria eight years ago, which allowed her to not only become more comfortable with telling her story, but with writing as well.
“My writing coach told me, ‘the more vulnerable you can be, the better it is for the reader,’” she said. “In the end, I just put all the stories together and added a bunch more, so that’s how it happened.”
She added that at first she was a bit hesitant to share such an important story with everyone, but when the website and everything else came together, she felt more self-confident.
“It feels pretty darn good.”
At this point, she is taking take life coach training and plans to use the book as a vehicle to attract coaching clients who are going through similar trials and who need support.
Hawkey will have her official book launch at The Church of Truth, 111 Superior St. November 18 in Victoria, For more information, please go online to http://www.deborahhawkey.com.


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I followed a friend’s advice “I don’t go to work to make friends”. This sage wisdom kept me locked in the same negative cycle I was accustomed to.  As a Nursing Aide, I was guarded but here at the hospital it was easy to witness the camaraderie between the nursing staff. They probably socialize together, I thought. The nursing staff were having a good time at work and it seemed to me that they probably socialized outside of work too.

I had been a care-aide for about fifteen years but didn’t have the same experience because of my belief that “I didn’t come to work to make friends” .I thought I did a good job, never missed shifts and was reliable, but I wasn’t really present.

Each time I walked into the bathroom, using a walker for support,  I saw a grey haired old man staring back at me in the mirror. Only it wasn’t my dad, it was me. Damn, was I morphing into my dad? When I lay in bed at night I had plenty of time to think about how he made his life hard for himself by believing the lies that he was not worthy and now I see how those negative thoughts got transposed onto me.

I had believed his negative thoughts about me for most of my life. He is dead, so what he thinks no longer matters, I muttered in silent conversation.

I am not my dad; I am me, without all of the negative baggage attached.

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I recently sold my house and moved to the small community of Sooke, BC, which is situated on the West side of Vancouver Island, about 25 km from Victoria. Population about 12,500.

My eight month old Schnauzer/Scottie X puppy, Jordi, had somehow adopted a fetish for my underwear, bras and sox. (Must be the terrier in him, I reasoned). He would bring them outside and happily chew them to shreds. This annoying habit was starting to get a bit expensive, so I needed to find a way to break him of it.

Keeping all the bedroom doors limited his access and made the most sense.

At 10p.m. I was getting ready for bed. I had only been in the new house for three days, so boxes were still unpacked. Jordi literally leaped into a pile of laundry and in a split-second managed to pull a pair of underwear from the pile. He stood there, underwear hanging from his mouth, as if to say, “Now what are you going to do?”

Standing in the doorway to block his exit, I said “NO’ “NO”.  Obviously this was the wrong thing to say, because now it was a game, and he was going to make a mad dash for the door before I could stop him.

He made a run-for-it, I lost my balance, fell, and broke my hip.

To be continued

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One day when I was five, I was at the hospital for my routine blood work and noticed a large wicker basket full of shiny red apples on the counter at the reception desk. I wanted one of those apples, so I stood on my tip toes and tried to reach, but due to my height, was unable. From the other side of the counter, a woman’s brown hand, gave me an apple. “Here you go,” she said in a soft voice. It was Mrs. James, she was from Jamaica. She added, “You know, we never saw a kid with such a strong will to live.” I nodded in agreement, even though I wasn’t sure what those words meant. I took the apple and went to my seat.
In the deepest recesses of my memory, I remember that some of the nurses had told me that they too had never seen a kid with such a strong will to live. Years later, I often wondered if those words caused me to struggle through situations and events that no ordinary human was meant to endure. Unbeknownst to me at that time, those words, we never saw a kid with such a strong will to live, would end up being my silent mantra throughout my life. They had a safe refuge and burrowed deep in my subconscious memory and became the main motivation for how I lived my life.
This was a sharp contrast to the vile words of my abusive alcoholic father, who repeatedly criticized me and proclaimed, “You’re just a stupid fucking bitch who’s never going to amount to anything.”
As the years progressed, so did the words … they became more vile.
You stupid fucking bitch, YOU ARE never going to amount to anything. How many times would I hear those words in my head, ten thousand, one hundred thousand, a million perhaps, as a constant reminder that I was worthless and unlovable and IT was all my fault. I came to believe that if I wasn’t sick my mom would not have left, leaving my dad with three kids to raise on his own. Of course I believed him and identified heavily with those words.

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For most of my life, I was under the false notion that if I HAD a certain thing (object of my desire) I would DO a certain thing and then BE that thing which I desired.

This type of thinking stemmed from years of trying to fill an emotional void from not having a mother and living with an abusive rage-aholic father. Having nice things made me FEEL whole and complete, even though at the time I didn’t realize I was covering my emotions so I could cope with my losses.

I was obviously unconscious about my own worth and relied on just about anyone to fill me in on my purpose in this life, (as if anyone knew). My main question, which always sounded more like an interrogation was always ‘why”, as in “why did you do this or why did you do that? If I could just get the answer to my life-long internal dilemma, then I would know “who I am” and what my purpose in life was “supposed to BE”.

I spent a lot of money on expensive material objects in an effort BE something/somebody. I thought if I had an expensive camera, that I would DO what professional photographers do (whatever that is) and then…I would BE a professional photographer, for example. If I had an expensive briefcase I would DO what business people DO…and then I would BE seen as a business person. I was under the notion that I had to HAVE a certain thing and DO a certain thing to BE that thing. How mistaken I was.

Overtime, I have come to the realization that I had it all backwards. Finally, I have discovered the real ME, without all the baggage attached, and without false ‘notions.’ It’s a different life! And now I know the correct order of things is BE, DO, HAVE. I know myself to BE a loving and caring individual, I DO what people with those attributes DO (express my emotions freely) my relationships have become an expression of love and I HAVE an amazing life!

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