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Successful people don’t blame others, they take responsibility for their outcomes.     Losers on the other hand make others responsible for their failure.

Doe Zantamata, the creator of the Happiness in Your Life book series has something very powerful to say about responsibility and blaming others…

“If a person doesn’t want to take responsibility for their actions, they may try to blame others. Don’t accept blame or try to fix things when you’ve done nothing wrong. They need to learn that if they want different outcomes, they will have to make different choices. If you fix things for them, it deprives them from learning to take responsibility and their actions will repeat with different circumstances. You’ll then be the first they’ll blame or try to have fix things for them because you did before. That can lead to a very destructive cycle which will only stop when you do.”

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How inseparable life is from the voice. Your sexuality, your honesty, your spirituality, your physicality, your health. everything is intrinsically linked to the voice.

k.d. lang

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You’ve got (or you’re getting) your book – what about a bookmark?

Small and versatile, they can promote you and your ideas, tell a little bit about yourself and your inspirations, or can even used as handouts advertising your next book promotion or exhibition. Find out more at: http://reprographics.islandblue.com/printorium/bookmarketing/bookmarks.html

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Mind Movies

Watch one of these morning and night for just 3 minutes and experience amazing results.

http://www.mindmovies.com/mm4/Download3NewPreMades.php?&data4=499_1_1

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“Fear is physiological, so you actually have a fear response when someone asks you questions, for example. Emotional fear works the same way. Our brain can’t tell the difference between when we are being ignored emotionally or physically so we have the same responses that are fear based. It’s not the same response trigger, but our fear trigger goes off. It’s the same physiological response. It’s fears job to keep us safe, and so our fear has been developed to keep us from doing things that would make us look undesirable in some way, everybody has a different way of processing what their undesirable response is going to be.

“Maybe you get triggered because you got the impression that somebody thinks you’re stupid or weak. Let’s take a look at how to identify what those thoughts are for you and what your knee-jerk reaction is and what you do when you get triggered by fear. Fear jumps up on you and before you know it, it’s running the show. It’s like “hungry.” If you’re really, really, hungry, you’re going to be totally focused on finding food, it’s the thing that’s running the show at that moment.” Read More http://deborahhawkey.com/

 

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I’m the Author of Glorious Me, My Journey on the Path to Self Love.

I coach people who are blocked by fear how to take inspired action and find their true purpose in life.

When I was 4 1/2 a friend and I were playing in a vacant corner lot in Vancouver that had recently been sprayed with pesticide by city workers to control weeds. As a result, I contracted acute blast cell leukemia and was given 6 months to live.

I stayed in the hospital for 37 days. During this time I received over 100 blood transfusions and one of several bone marrow transplants. Finally, my skeletal body lay comatose, shrouded in ice cold sheets in an effort to reduce the 106 degree fever. A minister was brought in to perform Last Rights as I was not expected to live through the night. To everyone’s surprise, I survived the night and was sent home to die as nothing more could be done for me.

While lying on the couch watching television evangelist, Oral Roberts, on our black and white RCA television, something happened. He proclaimed that if I believed that Jesus healed then I would be healed too, “For it’s by faith that you are healed,” he said. So I put my hand toward the TV and believed what Oral Roberts, Jesus and the Bible said.

I credit this with saving my life. I am the 1st person in Canada to reach the 5 year milestone after experimental bone marrow transplantation. The odds of my being alive today are 1/200 million.

At age 5, I developed double mumps…twice, which created intense pressure in my ears and blew out my right eardrum causing me to be profoundly deaf in that ear. My dad always grumbled “You can hear what you want to hear” but he was wrong.

A year later, our mother abandoned us as moved to Ontario to start a new life. Had I not been sick, dad would not have had a reason to blame me for causing the breakup of our family. In my mind I grew to believe that he must be right, that I was “just a stupid fucking bitch who would never amount to anything”. His anger created a gnawing resignation and a hopeless insecurity from not being loved, heard or understood.

But it was the kind words of Mrs. James that gave me strength when I had none. One day when I was five, I was at the hospital for my routine blood work and noticed a large wicker basket full of shiny red apples on the counter at the reception desk. I wanted one of those apples, so I stood on my tip toes and tried to reach, but due to my height, was unable. From the other side of the counter, a woman’s brown hand, gave me an apple. “Here you go,” she said in a soft voice. It was Mrs. James; she was from Jamaica. She added, “You know, we never saw a kid with such a strong will to live.” I nodded in agreement, even though I wasn’t sure what those words meant.

On the one hand I was a stupid fucking bitch and on the other I was a kid with a strong will. The voice of my father continued to haunt me for the next 30 years, while the words of Mrs. James gave me strength.

I was an outpatient until age 16. All of my friends in the hospital died. I asked questions, “Where were they, where did they go?” “What was wrong with me when I was little?” and I always got the same answer. “I’ll tell you when you get older.”  But I never got an answer and this big secret was kept from me…until I discovered the truth about myself when I was 14.

One afternoon during summer holidays, I was sitting on the end of my bed when I felt compelled to open the closet door in my bedroom. Immediately, I got up, opened the door and stood there momentarily as if waiting for instructions. Without skipping a beat, an imaginary force took hold of my left wrist and thrust it into an inside pocket of Dad’s suit jacket, which was hanging on a nail in the closet. I felt something and pulled it out of the jacket pocket. Then, sitting on the edge of the bed, I carefully unfolded two newspaper articles, and started reading them. Both were about kids who had leukemia and the odds of survival: ZERO.

Then it hit me. I immediately fell back on the bed and sobbed uncontrollably for the next two hours.

Now I knew what the big secret was. It was not a matter of IF I was going to die, but WHEN.

I had two options. I could either believe in myself…or I could die.

So I blazed my own path and sought the answers I was looking for.

“You faced death at an early age, that’s why you’re not afraid of taking risks.” At least that’s what some people have told me. For me, taking risks was the easy part; I was just trying to keep from dying.

In order to gain confidence, you must take the risk. Confidence doesn’t just happen once in your life and then you have it for good. It must be exercised like any other muscle and it must be nurtured in order for it to grow.

You can’t imagine how many people think if only they had confidence and then their lives would change. But confidence doesn’t come first. Risk does.

So what’s the secret to building confidence? You must take risks in order to learn how to count on yourself. Believe me, the feelings you experience can be scary because fear tells us that no risk is worth it, yet, feeling your feelings is an important ingredient in being true to yourself. You can’t just sit back and wait for confidence to happen. You must go for it, and then confidence is the result. There’s only one way to build confidence and that is to do the thing you fear.”

 

 

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All successful individuals have started with a picture held in their mind. They visualized and affirmed what they wanted to be, to do, and to have. And then they instructed their subconscious with clarity and repetition. Dr. Robert Anthony

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He asked how we would be to others and ourselves if all negative thoughts, fears and beliefs did not exist in our own minds. This led me to wonder what I would be without any thought of emotional pain, anger or frustration.

He described how feelings like anger, hate and judgement, are all immediate signs of self-judgment being projected outside, and once healed, we find Peace, as our ability to take anything personally is seriously diminished.

These were some seemingly simple but radical ideas for someone like me to digest; someone who believed the voices in my head to be gospel. At the end of the first day, Tomas asked us to reflect on what we had learned that day. I told the group that I had come to know the voices the same way I knew my Golden Retriever. We have a relationship and now you’re telling me the Golden Retriever doesn’t exist? So does that mean the voices don’t exist either? I was confused.

The next day, a Sunday, I experienced quite a lot of anxiety. I felt my beliefs being challenged and once again the voices in my head trying to convince me I was making a terrible mistake by letting them go. Tomas told us that all change, even if it’s disappointing, is helpful even though we may experience initial resistance, doubt and discomfort. Later, I came to realize that all my uneasiness was caused by my misdirected values, and the suffering I felt was caused exclusively by my resistance to surrendering them.

I talked to a friend, Nikki, at church, about how fearful and apprehensive I was feeling. I was dazed, confused and crying. The chaos and confusion only intensified my fear, which I knew I had to face. She tried to alleviate this fear by providing helpful insights about the changes that were occurring.

As she spoke, something compelled me to look over my right shoulder. From a distance of about forty feet I saw a man in a suit of armor “standing on guard” outside the church kitchen. Across the front of his mouthpiece in capitalized red letters was the word L O V E. I was terrified. As terrified as that five-year-old little girl when Dr. Teasdale approached her with that long, silver drill while being forcefully held down against her will by four strong, masked doctors.

I had the instant awareness this apparition was revealing to me the most denied part of myself; that I Am Love.

I was being given a clear sign from Spirit; for me to be truly free I had to let Love in. The very thing I had avoided all my life was stalking me and had hunted me down.

In the months that followed, this epiphany caused me to look at my own resistance to love.

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In July of 2009, Tomas Vieira, co-author of Take Me to Truth, a companion to A Course in Miracles, facilitated a weekend workshop at the Church of Truth. As Tomas spoke about the steps to undoing the ego, I felt a fear rising within me. The voices in my head were trying to convince me that I was making a terrible mistake. The process of learning to undo the ego was scary, yet it was the very thing my soul yearned for as I was on a spiritual journey, hungry and eager to find my true self.
I was coming to know Parkinson’s as a wake-up call to get my attention and awaken to the true purpose of my life. Until now, my world perception was based on separation and reliance on my ego-self for all of my answers. Now I was being shown a better way to perceive my life. This disillusionment phase was really a great opportunity to awaken to the deeper meaning in my life. Tomas said, “Not until we feel threatened and vulnerable do we reach out to Source and ask for help from a pure motive. Our vulnerability becomes our strength when our ego-self is set aside and Truth is sought.”
He described how the fastest way to learn what and who we are is to look for it in others. Unconditional Love, Joy, Peace, Acceptance, Understanding and Forgiveness – that is who and what we are!
He said that we will never know this until we realize that every single person is part of us; they only appear, in time and space, to be separate. We overlook this palpable illusion only when we overlook error and give to others all that we deeply seek for ourselves. This way, by practicing it literally, we begin to learn who we truly are and we experience profound Love and Joy. When we stop seeing the ugliness out there, we will see the Truth within all existence is Love

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One day when I was five, I was at the hospital for my routine blood work and noticed a large wicker basket full of shiny red apples on the counter at the reception desk. I wanted one of those apples, so I stood on my tip toes and tried to reach, but due to my height, was unable. From the other side of the counter, a woman’s brown hand, gave me an apple. “Here you go,” she said in a soft voice. It was Mrs. James, she was from Jamaica. She added, “You know, we never saw a kid with such a strong will to live.” I nodded in agreement, even though I wasn’t sure what those words meant. I took the apple and went to my seat.
In the deepest recesses of my memory, I remember that some of the nurses had told me that they too had never seen a kid with such a strong will to live. Years later, I often wondered if those words caused me to struggle through situations and events that no ordinary human was meant to endure. Unbeknownst to me at that time, those words, we never saw a kid with such a strong will to live, would end up being my silent mantra throughout my life. They had a safe refuge and burrowed deep in my subconscious memory and became the main motivation for how I lived my life.
This was a sharp contrast to the vile words of my abusive alcoholic father, who repeatedly criticized me and proclaimed, “You’re just a stupid fucking bitch who’s never going to amount to anything.”
As the years progressed, so did the words … they became more vile.
You stupid fucking bitch, YOU ARE never going to amount to anything. How many times would I hear those words in my head, ten thousand, one hundred thousand, a million perhaps, as a constant reminder that I was worthless and unlovable and IT was all my fault. I came to believe that if I wasn’t sick my mom would not have left, leaving my dad with three kids to raise on his own. Of course I believed him and identified heavily with those words.

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