I fell hard but didn’t hear a “crack” like I did when I broke my leg in grade 4 P.E. class so I assumed that if I “slept it off” on the floor, I’d be ok in the morning.
(Something my dad would have done).
The Paramedics came in the morning and reasoned that because I couldn’t weight bear, I had fractured something. So off to the hospital I went. My broken hip was not deemed “life threatening” so other more severe cases were operated on before me. I had surgery two days later.
I had plenty of time to lie in bed and think… about the fragility of life. My dad had a fall and broke his leg, but instead of going to the hospital to get a cast, he chose his to do things in his own stubborn way, by doing nothing. (You can read about it in Glorious Me @ deborahhawkey.com) He didn’t go to the doctor until the RCMP paid him a visit two weeks later and said they were taking him in for psychiatric assessment unless he got himself to the doctor in the next 24 hours.
I was determined not to be a “dumb-ass” like him. Being stubborn has its merits but so does common sense. And this was a time to use abundant common sense.
I was grateful for our abundance. There are people in other countries who have the same needs but no access to proper health care. What a crazy mixed up world we live in.
The “old me” shut everyone out of my life. Had I had no visitors, no cards, no calls, I would have been perfectly content. But along the way I came to the realization that’s no way to live. Not if you want to have a happy, joyful life.
In the last 1 ½ years I have done a lot of personal work. Taking the Landmark Forum really gave me a new lease on life; a new direction. I started to see how I was perpetuating this myth, this “made-up story” that no one liked me.
Now, I have friends at church, I got plenty of phone calls, cards and visitors. This was so much better than blocking everyone out of my life. I had been living under this cloud all my life. It controlled my actions. I was not free.
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