Be…Do…Have

For most of my life, I was under the false notion that if I HAD a certain thing (object of my desire) I would DO a certain thing and then BE that thing which I desired.

This type of thinking stemmed from years of trying to fill an emotional void from not having a mother and living with an abusive rage-aholic father. Having nice things made me FEEL whole and complete, even though at the time I didn’t realize I was covering my emotions so I could cope with my losses.

I was obviously unconscious about my own worth and relied on just about anyone to fill me in on my purpose in this life, (as if anyone knew). My main question, which always sounded more like an interrogation was always ‘why”, as in “why did you do this or why did you do that? If I could just get the answer to my life-long internal dilemma, then I would know “who I am” and what my purpose in life was “supposed to BE”.

I spent a lot of money on expensive material objects in an effort BE something/somebody. I thought if I had an expensive camera, that I would DO what professional photographers do (whatever that is) and then…I would BE a professional photographer, for example. If I had an expensive briefcase I would DO what business people DO…and then I would BE seen as a business person. I was under the notion that I had to HAVE a certain thing and DO a certain thing to BE that thing. How mistaken I was.

Overtime, I have come to the realization that I had it all backwards. Finally, I have discovered the real ME, without all the baggage attached, and without false ‘notions.’ It’s a different life! And now I know the correct order of things is BE, DO, HAVE. I know myself to BE a loving and caring individual, I DO what people with those attributes DO (express my emotions freely) my relationships have become an expression of love and I HAVE an amazing life!